Her name is Candace and she is pissed. Enraged, actually.
She shares space with Wild-child Angela, Saintly Serena, and Mama. She doesn’t get much air time because the others have only disdain for her. But her presence marks nearly every moment.
Candace has nothing but anger for the world and herself, directed at the men who left, the friends who betrayed, the responsibilities of adulthood and especially for the mother whose rage embedded each of her cells. She is even angry at anger, and wants to be big, loud and offensive.
Wild-child Angela, whose sole mantra is pleasure, finds Angry Candace an unwelcome distraction from all the fun waiting to be experienced. Saintly Serena finds her pitiful, and is only interested in love and peace. Anger holds no value in her world. And Mama, who has no issue with fierceness, sits in dread of the toxic turn that pure anger can create.
But they all hear her voice – railing against injustice and duplicity, screaming ‘FUCK YOU!!!’ to anyone and everyone, striking out before getting struck.
Candace was created by grief. Suffering is the fuel that keeps her animated, even when everyone else feels exhaustion. The more she is suppressed, the more creative she becomes at finding an outlet. She surprises everyone with her extreme reactions and insidiousness. There are interventions, a variety of therapies, and so many prayers, all directed at making her go away. But she cannot be silenced.
Candace could easily overtake them, and all would be lost in the white-hot flames of her rage. Their hypocrisy, their ignorance, their deceit are part of her vengeful wails. She is the queen of intolerance and impatience, and can curse in 9 languages.
The home they all inhabit happens to be my body, surprisingly large enough to hold all these women. It’s been a playpen, a rowdy bar and a boxing ring.
They decide to hear her out, even while fearing for their own annihilation, imagining all the good they want to do in the world sullied by her evil thoughts and deeds.
After a lifetime of discord, when Candace finally got to speak freely, the funniest thing happened. She made sense. Lots of it.
The others were awestruck at her insights and power. They realized that having her on their side, rather than keeping her on the outs, was going to make for a much more passionate AND peaceful life.
In your house full of characters, who’s been ostracized? Who needs to be let back in the family and shown a little respect? Who’s been crying for your attention, your voice, maybe even your love? Tell me…