A warrior am I and from the battle I emerge victorious.

Courtesy of my reading from astrologist Heidi Rose Robbins

 

The concept of being a warrior plays hide-and-seek with my psyche. I am repulsed and infatuated at the same time. It is exhausting waging war all the time, and yet, what else is an awakened life, than the casting off of the layers of delusion and the slaying of legions of ghosts?

I practice Warrior 1, 2 and 3 hundreds (thousands?) of times, and I find discomfort every time. Peace comes easily. Battles do not.

There’s a reason we practice being warriors. There’s a reason the world asks us to be stronger, braver, and kinder than we think we can be. It’s the Universe’s plead for us to finally look in the correct mirror. Not the one that demonstrates our flaws, our failures and our fleeting being. The one that shows us the power to light what is around us, like a single small candle on a dark night.

I fight for my calling. I fight for my daughter. I fight for my heart and my body to be treated how I want them to be. I fight against the relentless pull to do and be what the world deems appropriate.

My mind says, “I am too old, too tired, too weak, too wrong, to keep outfitting myself in the cloak and armor required to slay my demons.”

And yet… A warrior am I and from the battle I emerge victorious.

Sometimes we must coddle our darkness into reality. But only long enough for it to dissolve in the blinding light of our brightness.

Take those ideas of limitation and raise your sword to them. En garde!! you must say. And then slash them as if they were made of the thinnest tissue. Don’t fear for their suffering. They have bound you long enough.

Your victories are indisputable. 

Can you begin to see the warrior with blood on her hands and hope in her heart, standing at their center? Can you see the hero, bruised and breathless, arms raised, muscles rippling, knowing the strength was there all along?

Tell me, won’t you please, what your warrior is battling today.

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