I have yet to become, in any significant way, one of those people whose house is always visit-ready, whose car is never strewn with socks, tissues and water bottles, or who would never (accidentally) leave the house in slippers.

Which is not to say I haven’t tried. I get excited by multi-colored containers of all shapes and sizes. I love labels, markers and high function spaces. I even bought the KonMari book. (I know, I know, it works better if you read it, but baby steps, people.)

Some of us, not finding the natural descent into disarray quite enough, bring it in through lifestyle choices. (Guilty as charged.)

Messiness not only affects my closets and tabletops, it has become a primary designer in my life. I live on two coasts, which doubles the amount of logistical complexity. I share custody of my daughter with her father, which creates extreme differences between Mama weeks, and Mama-from-afar weeks. Oh, and I work odd hours, from home, with clients in five time zones.

I have occasionally spent weeks alternating between going to bed just before sunrise, and waking up just before sunrise. Thank goodness for my devices, as I would hardly know my location or time zone without them.

My inner mess-maker runs the show, impeded only occasionally by my inner organizer. I abhor the waste of time when unable to locate the things I need. Being late, for personal and professional engagements, is not an option. One might even say there is a system to my chaos, but it is chaos, nonetheless.

Why does any of this matter?

We all have areas in our lives that we are challenged to keep up. From checkbooks to oil changes, nobody is exempted from the law of nature called entropy.

The question is – how much of your time and energy will you apply towards keeping order? What is your tolerance for mess?

Like anything in life, dwelling too far on either side of this continuum tends to make life more difficult.

Too much stringency, and your precious life energy may be squandered for the minutiae at the expense of the magnificent. (Joy is messy. So is sex. Just sayin’…)

Too little attention, and your life energy gets sucked into locating missing car keys, paying late fees, and emotional scatter.

We all fall somewhere in that long range from OCD to Hoarders, and every person has a sweet spot where life feels easiest. Many of us are not in our sweet spot, because we haven’t taken the time to understand our rhythms and behaviors.

Turning habitual behaviors into conscious behaviors is the key to finding your sweet spot.

It’s time for a cold, hard look at what’s going on. Here are some things I’ve heard…

• I’m embarrassed about being a slob.
• I can’t enjoy myself if anything is out of place.
• Not caring about being tidy makes me feel like a free spirit.
• Keeping my house immaculate makes me feel like I am in control.

This begins the process of bringing awareness to default patterns.

Taking it further, we can begin to understand the pros and cons of the belief/behavior connection.

• How does my current pattern serve the life I want to live?
• How does this pattern keep me from ________________ (the thing that I really, really, really want)?
• How can I make my natural tendency work for me, in service to the life I desire?

Notice the absence of:

• Why am I this way?
• Why can’t I be another way?

Another huge waste of time, avoided.

The entire point of this inquiry is to set yourself up for success. It is possible to create the conditions in which your creativity, productivity and love of life can flourish. All it takes is…

1. Understanding what is
2. Changing what’s possible
3. Loving what’s left

This just happens to be the all-purpose recipe for a delicious life. Easy enough, right?

What area can you apply this to… today?

Now, I’m off to move my half un-packed luggage out of the living room, to prepare for the house full of teenage girls arriving shortly.