Sympathy, Empathy, and Not Making it Worse
It’s tough. Witnessing someone we care about going through something painful can bring even the strongest of us to our knees. We struggle with what to say, what to do, how to act, how to help. It’s no accident that the language of condolence has been distilled down to an easy-to-remember script:…
Your Check Engine Light Is On
Even the most rudimentary, single-celled organism has the ability to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Why, then, are we – as complex beings with consciousness and choice – taught that the pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain are the root of all suffering? After decades of asking, and searching, I still…
Everything’s Fine. Or Is It?
Want to listen, instead of read? Here you go… Dearest One, Have you ever found yourself saying, through gritted teeth, “Everything’s fine.” Me too. Even when everything is absolutely.not.fine. Mine comes from a feeling that the person who is asking is not really asking, or that anything other than fine isn’t acceptable. As women, we…
Take Me to the Sun
Take me to the sun. Steer me from the cold shadows, dark corners, breathless bays. Take me to the sun. Where my eyes burn and my skin scorches. Where I drink in breath and life like a thirsty sailor. Take me to the sun. Where there is no need…
The Perspective of Suffering
Hello dearest one, “That person hurt me! Don’t I have a right to be upset?” That question has come up with every client I’ve worked with in the past 10 years. Whether it is the main problem, or one uncovered on the way to the main problem, it appears. I have asked myself that…
The Generosity of Sadness
One of my favorite healers (and human beings) used the phrase ‘generosity of sadness’ in our last conversation. I thought it was so poetic and beautiful that I grabbed the closest notepad and wrote it down. I didn’t know what it meant. Perhaps I still don’t. But it felt like something in my mouth demanding…
Naked and Unafraid
Just two days before a weeklong trip to Los Angeles, I learned that the housing I had arranged was no longer available. I then began a frenzied search to find a place to stay in one of the most popular tourist areas of California. I booked a room using an online rental service that I…
The Pursuit of Unhappiness*
*No, that’s not a typo. Who would ever pursue UNhappiness?? You would. I would. Everyone we’ve ever known would. Perhaps that doesn’t make a stitch of sense. You’re right. Happiness has a whole lot of caché. It’s the hot thing, the hip thing, the new black. Even His Holiness The Dalai Lama says happiness…
A Love Note… For You
My beloved reader, I know that you’re here because something hurts. I’m here because I’ve also had that hurt. I don’t claim that mine is the same as yours, although it might be, but that in my own journey to heal I’ve discovered so many ways of feeling better that I am committed to sharing.…
Brilliance
I’ve been feeling crappy for a few years now. Admittedly, my version of crappy is probably pretty good for the average person. But I don’t live an average life. The noticeable dip in my energy, stamina, excitement, creativity and overall juiciness has been wreaking some havoc with my big and grand to-do’s. …